


Whirl

by coverofnight



Series: Break Me Down [9]
Category: Wentworth (TV)
Genre: F/F
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-08-27
Updated: 2018-08-27
Packaged: 2019-07-03 03:55:40
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,027
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15810825
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/coverofnight/pseuds/coverofnight
Summary: Vera's account of Cut Me Loose.





	Whirl

**Author's Note:**

> I'm really nervous about posting this and hope it reads as it's meant to.

Bridget escorts me into the room where our colleagues sit, chat, and wait. These events never move quite as fast as we’d all like. Most of us, myself included this time, have much better things to do.

Tonight I’ve worn my most attractive black dress, thigh-high slit and all. My hair falls to my shoulders just the way Bridget says she likes it.

As I walk arm in arm with her, she looks over her shoulder at me and gives a smile. And just then, I forget that she had a thing with Doyle. I forget that it was me who served the news to the Governor on a silver platter. I like to forget because Bridget makes no bones about it. She knows me, knows my heart, knows that the Governor is spiraling. Whirling. Turning black tables. We’re all just waiting for the fallout.

_ The Governor.  _ __  
  
That’s what I call her now. It seems a lifetime ago since I called her my lover and even longer since kind words passed between us. Even after all these weeks, she still refuses to accept that I’ve moved on. She still holds tight to the warm memory of us nestled in her bed on cold mornings. Maybe I do, too. But I can’t think about that right now.

With Bridget, it’s all so new and fresh and advancing far too quickly for my taste. Perhaps it’s what I need.

At our table, I spy the Governor seated just next to Miles and Fletch. She broods. Her eyes are dark with a feverish anger that I can feel a mile away. She hates that I’m here. Dressed like this. For Bridget.

_ Not her.  _

The Governor doesn’t dare look at me when I sit. Luckily, Will is just between us and there’s no need to make polite conversation. 

Still, I steal glances her way because it’s been weeks since I’ve seen that dark mane fall over broad shoulders. Grimacing lips press into a wine glass. Impeccable eyebrows furrow. Dark eyes gloss over. Then, a low growl escapes her mouth. 

_ Something’s wrong. _

She coughs, choking on wine the color of blood.

_ It’s what she deserves. _

“You right, Governor?” Will asks her as he puts a tender hand to her shoulder.

We all turn to look at her in unison. And then she shrugs Will’s hand from her shoulder. Her dark eyes look to me because her brief loss of air reminds her that love is fleeting. No one at this table has loved her the way I have.

The way I do. 

I look away and search Bridget’s gaze. There’s ease and comfort there. With her, none of those confusing emotions consume me the way they do with Joan. So, I settle in with her at the table even though Miles directs her skeptical eyes and Joker’s grin my way. There’s already been gossip at the prison. Nothing Miles sees now will make any difference.

Bridget slips her hand into mine beneath the table and I smile. But I can’t help but look over at Joan. When our eyes meet, she turns and I know there isn’t anything I can do to ease her heartache. It’s spread clean across her face, though she tries desperately to hide it.

Later, I ask Will to dance. And he holds me close and jokes with me about how much happier I am these last days.  He has no idea.  Then Channing slithers his way between us, looking for an opportunity to get a whiff of my hair and press his lips to my ear. Before he can do any of those things, I look to our table and only Joan watches me. Bridget is nowhere in sight.  So, I slip away from Channing. My feet carry me to the table, past Joan and over to Fletch who isn’t at his best tonight. 

“I wish I could take you for a spin, Vera, but I’m not up to it.” Fletch fumbles over his words and I shake my head.

“Don't worry if you're not up to it. I'm fine,” I hear myself say as I look at Joan, who is forcing herself to look away from me.

There's fear on that face and I ache to ease it. But what kind of woman would I be if I went back on my word? And if I turned my back on Bridget for a moment alone with the Governor? What then?

Before I can make any decisions, Joan slips out of the room. Hesitantly, I follow. She pushes her way past board members and colleagues to the restroom. I stand at the door and wait. From outside, I can hear her talking. To herself? A vision?

_ Me? _

“Please. No...Now’s my only chance.” Silence. And then, “You ready?” Joan’s husky voice echoes from inside the restroom and I wait for my moment to intervene.

All these weeks, I should have known by the look in her eyes that there was something missing. Each day they grew more distant, more disconnected from me. She still talks to me as if we live and love together.

Inside, there are moans. They are familiar. Like home. And I wonder with whom she might be sharing a private moment. Deep down, I know there isn’t anyone in there but the Governor herself. So, I push the door open and interrupt and, in a moment of rage, she brings a heavy fist down on the sink.

“God damn it!” Her voice is loud, booming. Harsh. I startle but find my footing quickly enough to comfort her.

I hold her, bring a gentle hand to her face and caress it. Bridget slips into the restroom to check up on me. I shoo her away. Now’s not the time.

For some minutes afterward, Joan’s head is heavy on my shoulder. I feel hot tears drip down my chest. “It’s alright,” I tell her in a whisper.

“I miss you, Vera.” Joan’s voice is quiet, childlike. It’s unlike anything I’ve heard from her before, which makes what I need to say all the more painful. 

“I know, but you have to cut me loose.”

 

**End**

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks to everyone who followed this series. Your comments and feedback have been so encouraging and helpful to me as a writer. I can't thank any of you enough. :)


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